In the washing machine

Patrick was walking home from a boring evening at the local POCTATAB (Prevention Of Cruelty To Animals That Are Blind) meeting when a fast slug slipped into the hem of his trousers. He didn't notice.

He got home and got undressed and fell into bed and dreamed of all the blind little animals and how he could save them if only he was a better swimmer. When he woke the next morning he took his pile of dirty clothes and dumped them in the washing machine.

As he put the clothes in the machine he could have sworn he heard some faint 'screaming' noise. He shut the door and just disregarded the sound as the squeak from the squeaky kitchen tiles on which he was standing.

It was actually the slug screaming, still nestled inside his trouser hem. The washing machine is a hell for slugs. There's nothing in there that will kill them (slugs dig water) but the tumbling motion almost always provokes the darkest and most disorienting of thoughts. As the slug span round flashes of dead slugs and slugs with lips the size of pennies flashed before its eyes.

While the washing machine was on Patrick headed out and bought some ingredients for dinner. A nice home cooked lasagne. When he returned home the washing was done; he took the clothes and hung them on the line outside.

A second in the washing machine, for a slug, is equivalent to a million years drifting in space for a human. By now, the slug was angry. Its soul had left its body and all that was left was a murderous slimey vessel determined to seek revenge on Patrick.

The slug slipped from the hem and crawled towards the house, up the wall, and in through the window by which Patrick had left his lasagne. That night while Patrick was asleep the slug sealed all the windows and doors, and every crack through which air might escape the house, using its slug slime.

It then turned on the gas by the fire using its muscly body. It has the intention of lighting a match and going out in a 'blaze of glory' but the slime kept putting out any sparks before a fire even got close to being lit. Patrick is a very light sleeper and woke up before the slug had time to execute its plans. Feeling hot, he cracked a window open. Confused by all the slime, he put it down to just being sleepy and went back to bed. The slug was so angry that it crawled into Patrick's throat. It accidentally went 'all the way' down and into Patrick's stomach where it was dissolved in the acid.