Anita In Slug Lif3

PROFILE: ANITA

Anita is a girl. She h8s slugs.

List of things Anita does:
* eats fish finger sandwiches
* puts her socks in the sink
* definitely creates a FB event for everything she does. Examples: 'Anita invited you to the event ''Anita is buying new socks''', 'Anita invited you to the event 'Anita is going to Tesco at 4pm''.
* Anita thinks watching a Youtube video of a band is seeing them live
* Anita lost 7 of her toes in a running accident. She massages the stumps.
* Anita can hold her breath for 3 minutes

Anita in Slug Lif3

While on holiday in Ibiza Anita encountered a slug. She was wearing flipflops (this is always a bold move in regards to the stump situation) and thus had to shuffle everywhere. Her gut instinct said to raise her foot and squash the slug. She was too afraid of the squelching sound squishing a slug would make. She logged on to her Facebook.

Anita has invited you to the event 'Crush a slug in Ibiza'.

Leaked cables

the Slugs went in the little cables and left a note about balsamic

IN PROVERB

If a slug falls in a forest, does it cast a shadow?

SLUGGY CREEPS

SLUGGY CREEPS is the number 1 Slug TV show in which the host, Shakira, helps families and friends solve their differences.

Episode 23841904132: "My husband put a slug on my daughter": LIE DETECTOR RESULTS

Featuring:
Daniel - the father and alleged perpetrator of the slug-on-face incident
Mo - the mother, accusing Daniel of "face via slug" crimes
Shintzy - the daughter, who had slug on her face
Slug - went on a face

Shakira: OKAY, lie detector question one: Daniel, did you touch a slug last month? Daniel answered 'no' to this question.

[Daniel looks nervous]

Mo - HURRY UP AND REVEAL THE RESULTS STUPID SHAKIRA
Shintzy - jus shu up mum
Slug- ....
Shakira: SHUT UP, ALL. The lie detector says: Daniel, you were lying.

Daniel: Nawwww.

Shakira: Question two. We asked Daniel if he put a slug on Shintzy's face. Daniel declined to respond.
Mo - OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! HE PUT THE SLUG ON HER FACE

Slug: ....

Shakira: and there we have it. Whenever, wherever: Daniel and Mo are not meant to be 2gether. How do you feel now that you know who put a slug on your face, Shintzy?

Shintzy: I feel sick. Can't believe I had a slug on my face.

Seasonal Slug

The seasons are changing once again. Like the tide, slugs must change too.

It is Christmas. We must love one another. Leave each other sluggy little gifts wrapped up in balsamic vinegar, or even malt vinegar.

There are songs we sing to celebrate this particular season. Slug favourite is 'ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU' by M. Carey.

The song is so much more than a song. It's a mantra. A MANTRA FOR LIF3. On first glance, the lyrics are merely superficial. All dear Mariah wants is "you". She doesn't ever reveal who "you" is. No, she leaves it up to YOU to decide what she wants. Is it malt vinegar? Is it balsamic? Is it a slug in a jar?

"And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air "

What are they laughing at?

Is it balsamic? Is it malt?

Only "you" can decide.

PRISCILLA, BY SEA

LIF3TIME BAN

"Kelis" is a worldwide pop superstar sensation with one hit song titled "MILKSHAKE". She is a hated figure within the slug community.

It is open to debate what Kelis is using the keyword 'milkshake' as a metaphor for. Many in the slug community speculate she is using 'milkshake' as slang for 'salt'. Her vast array of salt attracts many anti slug campaigners, which she references as 'the boys'.

KELIS IS BANNED FROM SLUG LIF3