In this new feature we have some light cast upon the history of slugs, courtesy of Adam Elmahdi:
GREAT SLUGS OF BRITISH HISTORY: PART 1
KING SLUGWARD
Due to an administrative error, a slug was once crowned King of England. King Slugward, as he became known, was a controversial ruler, whose decrees were considered “eccentric” or “dangerously irrational” by some. Whilst his dashing good looks and masculine slime trail made him a hit amongst the ladies at court, King Slugward’s tyranical anti-salt measures put him at odds with a number of powerful figures. 50% of Britain’s GDP (including the country’s entire defence and education budgets) was redirected to building desalination plants along the coast, and the 50000000000% salt tax caused the French Fries industry to go into freefall. This latter measure bought the noble univalve the lifelong enmity of France, which ultimately led to his undoing – on a state visit to Paris, His Royal Slugness was lured to what he thought was the Eiffel Tower but was actually a cunningly disguised salt mine. Within minutes, King Slugward and his fascistic regime had shrivelled away like a grape in the sun, marking the last time a gastropod would hold high office in a European state (however, a giant snail was recently elected to the presidency in Kenya, and it was only recently that Chairman Whelk relinquished control of the People’s Republic of Canada.)
King Slugward was survived by his life partner, Slug #3570235935. Their son, Prince Slugginton later became famous as the bass player for popular American indie band The Shins.
'mazing.
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